


We're really alive (Sam/Dean;  ficlet)

by Nina36



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s06e19 Mommy Dearest, Ficlet, M/M, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 07:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina36/pseuds/Nina36





	We're really alive (Sam/Dean;  ficlet)

I used to spend hours watching you do this kind of stuff while growing up: clearing guns, sharping knives and stakes, making the shells. You would sit on one of the beds in our motel rooms, or at a desk if we had one, and you’d start working, your movements always so precise, your face so focused. I think I realized how much this is your calling one day, watching you make shells for dad.

Incidentally I think I realized I was really in love with you watching you, one day. You even noticed I was looking at you ‘funny’ and I ended up mumbling something stupid, something that didn’t make sense even to my adolescent, awkward self. The recollection is so clear in my mind: I watched you, making shells, you were nibbling at your lower lip…and it was like a switch had been flicked.

“I’m in love with Dean” I thought. I didn’t freak out, I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t disgusted. I was happy. When we were in heaven I expected us to stumble upon that memory…I prayed that we did…I would have told you, then. I would have told you that it had been the best, most crazy day of my life: all the pieces had come together in my mind, in my heart…for the first time everything had made sense: I worshipped the ground you walked on, I trusted you implicitly, you drove me up the wall when you were a dick…and I was head over heels in love with you.

The funny thing is, Dean, that it keeps happening. It’s cliched, it’s stupid and corny…but it’s the God honest truth: I keep falling in love with you, every single day. It used to overwhelm me - cue in Sam running away, trying to build a fake life - but now…? It’s what gives me strength…

You said it yourself, once: _we keep each other human_.

But it’s more than that, Dean: we keep each other alive, really alive: not just puppets in wars between good and evil, not just flesh, blood, bones and muscles that keep going…we’re really alive.

You work and I watch you: your hands, your profile, the way you nibble at your lower lip…and I can’t keep the smile out of my face…and when you look at me, this time, there’s no awkward explanation…because you smile, as well…and you know…maybe because you feel the same..or maybe because, just like me, for a brief moment…you are happy.

We both are.


End file.
